Love Without End, Amen: The Story of Amy and her Dog, Neo
By Janis D. Gioia, MAEd
When George Strait recorded the song Love Without End, Amen, he wasn't singing about the bond between a rescued service dog and his handler, or how that love would change both of their lives forever. But if he knew Amy Fey (one of his biggest fans) and her service dog Neo, he would definitely see how the lyrics of his hit song beautifully tell the story of their life together.
Amy's Service Dog Helps her Focus on What she CAN Do
Illness and disability have taken many things from Amy Fey's life. Rheumatoid Arthritis, which she was diagnosed with at 18 months, has aggressively progressed over the past forty years. She's had a total of 4 hip replacements and 5 knee replacements. The arthritis has led to vision problems in her right eye and being declared legally blind in her left eye. If that weren't enough, she has thyroid issues, high blood pressure, extreme food allergies and chronic myeloid leukemia.
But if given a magic button that would make all of her disabilities and pain disappear, would Amy push it? "Absolutely not! I am who I am because what I have gone through. I am perfect."
Amy can no longer teach elementary school, which was a career that she truly loved. She can't run, jump on a trampoline, and even drive. Driving is something she really misses: the independence of getting in the car and going wherever she wants, whenever she wants, is a big loss. Thankfully, great friends, her "entourage" as she fondly calls them, are on hand to get here where she needs to be.
While Amy could make a list pages long of what she cannot do, she has made it a choice to focus on what she can do: get out of bed every day even though it is slow and painful, read on her iPad with the screen reversed to black background and white font, go places with her friends, and most of all, enjoy life with Neo, her service dog companion of ten years.
A Perfect Partner Throughout Rheumatoid Arthritis Journey
The bond between service dog and handler is always strong, but in the case of Amy and Neo, it has truly been lifesaving.
Amy says, "Neo was truly meant to be my service dog but turned into so much more. Neo has helped me though the last three years of teaching before having to medically retire. He has helped me recoup from several surgeries. He was by my side through my wedding and divorce. He tackled the big feat of moving into a new to house this past year."
"Even scarier, he saw me though my hospitalization and almost death. He sees me, he loves me for me, and he anticipates what I need. When we first met, we literally walked foot by foot. My right foot was up, his right foot was up, and it was truly love at first sight.
I know that I can honestly say I would not have surveyed these last 10 crazy chaotic years of my life without him. I will be forever grateful to the people who turned him into the shelter and to SDI (Service Dogs, Inc.) for seeing potential in him and matching us. He is truly my best friend. We are a package deal."
The Task Master Service Dogs Fosters Greater Independence
As part of the package, Neo performs many typical service dog tasks, picking things up off the floor, opening and closing doors with tug ties, helping Amy zip and unzip clothing, and supporting Amy when she walks, a necessity for her independence with her worsening arthritis decreasing vision.
Because of Neo, Amy feels much more confident walking on blurry days. Neo can also perform tasks he wasn't officially trained for like laying on painful joints (somehow he knows the sore ones without being told) and he also sticks to her like glue when she isn't feeling well.
Prior to getting Neo, Service Dogs Inc. (originally Texas Hearing and Service Dogs) held many classes for handlers alone, and also for the handlers and their service dogs. They learned proper safety techniques, commands, ways to reward, interact etc. In addition, they learned the legal guidelines for a service dog and how it is different from an emotional support or therapy dog. Her trainings with Service Dogs Inc. were invaluable at sharing guidance about having a service dog, and through this organization she has made many friends.
A lot has changed in the ten years since Amy and Neo have been a service dog team. Amy would absolutely have a service dog again, but says people don't often realize the work that goes into the relationship.
Caregiving Goes Both Ways
As Amy explains, having a service dog is a lot of work. In Amy's case, this is a good thing. Neo makes her get up and out of bed to feed him, to let him out and to play. Neo makes Amy have to function, which is a good thing. Neo forces Amy to move, and to be actively training him to keep his skills sharp.
"A lot of people think having a well-trained dog, is easy, I give command and he does it. The service dog is not a robot! Having a true service animal is like having a child with you. You have to keep it safe as well as yourself."
You have to be aware of someone else's needs besides your own. When leaving the house I need to consider the weather for myself and for Neo. Is the ground too hot for his paws? Is the pouring rain going to bother him? (Wet dog is a smell that not everyone appreciates!) I have to have a "doggy diaper bag" that includes, water, snacks/treats, poop bags, wipes, lint roller, toy, blanket etc. Having a SD in public is like having a toddler, I have to make sure I have things that make him comfortable as well."
Services Dogs are Necessities, not Accessories
What Amy isn't comfortable with, however, is the way many people nowadays try to pass off their pets as service dogs. When she began her journey with Neo, almost a decade ago, her biggest fears were making sure Neo was on his best behavior, so she didn't get dirty looks from strangers. She was always prepared to recite her rights as a service dog handler to those in the public as well as to store and restaurant employees and managers.
Today, it's a whole new world. Amy shares, "I have to worry about other people bringing their pets into stores. Pets, no matter how well-behaved you think they are, do not have public access rights like service dogs do. Now, businesses are too afraid of hurting feelings or being sued by asking if that dog riding in a basket, a stroller, or a baby sling is a service dog. Businesses don't want to ask people why they are bringing a bird into Target on their shoulder, or why there are three barking, bouncing puppies in the basket."
There is a solution, Amy believes, and it is for people to stop trying to pass off their pets as service dogs, which they are not. People need to be respectful and understand that yes, there are animals trained to be service dogs, and they have access rights. Having non-service dogs in businesses and similar areas can be a distraction to the service animal and cause the handler harm.
People in society that fake having service dogs/animals don't realize how disrespectful they are being to people that actually need a service dog. It is similar, Amy says, to a non-disabled person wanting to take a joy ride in a wheelchair because it looks fun and not think about how disrespectful it is to someone who is in a wheelchair. Or maybe someone wanting a prosthetic leg because it looks "cool."
Service dogs are a medical necessity for the handler, not an accessory, and Amy wishes people would be respectful of this and not try to break the rules.
Together, Amy and Neo Find Joy
Amy has one major rule that governs each day of her life: CYOJ. Her mantra, Create Your Own Joy, is written on notes throughout her house. Says Amy, "Life can be hard, rough and downright mean at times, but it is also beautiful. I always remind myself of that I can always CYOJ, even if it's a little thing like seeing a ladybug, getting the last cookie, or hearing my favorite song on the radio!"
Children are, and have always been Amy's passion in life. Amy says, "I loved teaching. I taught for ten years! Five years in first grade and five years in second grade. Neo came to work with me my last three years! I love helping children see and be their best self. I truly miss teaching them new things and all the great things about life. I had to medically retire and I have an ache ever since. Even Neo misses being with the students."
A lot of Amy's joy comes from Neo, and keeping up with many of her former students, many of whom have become her lifelong friends, and who are doing amazing things in the world. Some of Amy's littlest students are now nurses, social workers, construction workers, hairstylists and more. One of her former students is a paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne division in Fort Liberty, North Carolina.
While Amy may never get to check off skydiving on her bucket list, she still hopes to meet her idol, country music singer George Strait, and continue her passion of collecting miniature things. Whether it's a tiny bottle of tabasco sauce or miniature crayons, tiny things bring Amy great joy.
There's nothing tiny about the love and bond between Amy and Neo, and Amy hopes that their story will encourage and educate others about real life with a service animal which is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a love without end, amen!
About the Author:
Janis Gioia, MAEd, is a meditation teacher, former special education teacher and the founder of Wee Meditate, a meditation platform that makes meditation accessible for and representative of all children. With forest animal characters, each with a disability, kids learn to meditate in a storybook world with a magical Dragon. Wee Meditate has membership plans for individuals/families and organizations such as schools, hospitals and clinical practices.
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